Monday, January 29, 2007

this is no way to try and live my life.

okayy i'm trying to do my stupid gp essay right now.

trying is the word.

and since i have totally no mood to do it i really dunno how i'm gonna go about dng it.i keep repeating the pts over and over agn!like why does it repeat ah?it's like a stupid loop you know?stupid luh.stupid stupid stupid question.what changing roles of men and women all.in the end both of them have sex and the females reproduce right?not the males what.

stupid.

in a very VERY sian mood right now.

it sucks to know that you might still have a chance but nothing is moving at all unless you push it.which i am so totally SICK of doing.you know what seriously, I GIVE UP OKAYY??it's like.wtf luh make up your mind luh.and i'm like so totally lost okayy just being moved around like a very blur chess piece.not like they are atually alive or anything.which is what i'm feeling right now.SIMPLY DEAD.

if that took you more that half a minute then yur a fucking vulgur piece of shit.

i'm just gonna wait right here.wait until you realise something is wrong and actually do something about it.if not baby uh-uh it don't work.

-why don't you do something?!-

Posted by char at 9:16 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

i love it when you call but you never call at all.

is it me?OR IS IT THAT MY LOCK-MY-BLOG THINGY ISN'T ACTUALLY WORKING?!?!

okaayyy i'm seriously freaking out here!i need clare.NOW.but it's friggin 11.34.ahhhh!!

medicine is taking over me.i'm drowsying.like MAD.

umm where to start?let's see.r'ship gng downhill..check.life is becoming a mess cuz i dunno wth i've gotten myself into...check.energy being drained away by the moment..check check check!

ah.okayy.

this is boring.nothing to blog bout today cuz generally..it's a boring one.

shall go read xiaxue's blog or sumfing.or listen to postcards by armchair agn.gosh it's addictive man the guitar solo keeps playing in my head!

ohoh i know!i saw one of the bimbo/plastics today and told gow(she was on the line) that she was across the road.and APPARENTLY..her best friend was just next to me.i tell you i'm such a genius=)) wahahaha.sometimes i amaze me.

their prob gonna drag me into the girls toilet tml and strip and dunk my head into the toilet bowl or sumfing.although looking straight at them is just equal to all these i've said altogether.

forget bout xiaxue's blog.i'm too tired.goodnight world.

-ni hao xiang hai shi shuo le byebye.-

Posted by char at 11:34 PM

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

should i stay or should i go?

ahhh..it's getting late and i've just completed a stupid poem about this stupid slave.in fact it's so corny it's kinda brightening up my night.haha.whatever=)

today.hasn't at all been a smooth day for me luh.alot of things weighing on my mind.learning the stupid set piece for syf sure didn't help.in fact it did.it helped to make things worse.screw phoon blah blah whatever yur chinese name is.how can you sing a song without words?a horrible funny tuney one at that.

mm anw.about the weighing my mind issues.yes.there is quite a few.to start with, i'm not exactly a very happy sick girl anymore.i'm just sick.plus miserable if i might add.i mean like omg.one minute you actually think you like me but the other you're actually not sure.i don't blame you luh but it's just very wth.

I HAFTA STOP LIKING YOU IT'S DRAINING.it's like.i'm confused.i don't even know what's going on.so if i ignore you i'm sorry but i'm just feeling as much confused as you are(or at least i think you do)and i don't have a clue what i'm supposed to do next.

boys the girls.the moral of the story for today is to NEVER.EVER.have a crush on someone in class.and pls don't pray that he ends up in the same class as you before you even get posted.it kinda sucks when you here other ppl teasing him with another girl.okayy so i'm jealous.so what?i mean i have feelings what right.on the other hand i still do wanna get close to you.it's like wtf to repel or to not repel??

all of a sudden i wish i could be a random magnet.you and me.with random poles.also wanting it to repel.but hoping it would attract.BLEAGH.i'm sucha loser.i can't even stare at you in the eye anymore.although i must say yur eyes are captivating.so like.deep.it's like.THE STARE.you know.no?fine.

ALSO.i also found out that there's a possibility that boon hasn't actually forgotten me yet?WOW.what a miracle.i seriously thought he would mean more to me than i too him.but what do you know.hohoho.shit.no hohoho.hohoho is like.chinho.ah wttffff!!

mm.i really still wanna catch boon's gig though.but i was supposed to go with conan.bleagh.maybe i'll just go with po although i haven't actually met him yet.once again i would like to stress what a messy loser i am.

end of discussion.

-standing in the frontyard thinking bout how i'm sucha fool-

Posted by char at 10:37 PM

Monday, January 22, 2007

it feels so right to be here with you.

ooh yess.char is sick today.no school for me nah-uh.but i miss school actually =))

had an 07A03 outing ytd which was quite okayy.had dinner(i only had some mint ice cream and 5 spoons of macaroni the whole day),watched a movie(pans labarynth whiched sucked cuz i don't like that genre of movies.but of cuz there was a plus point to the seating arrangement which didn't make the movie seem sucha torture after all =D)

yes i also found out something due to that.something um..delightful =)) let's just say something i wanted to know ever since like orientation night.

i cannot stop stressing how i'm a very happy sick person =))

mm let's rewind to the day before where i felt like a guilty criminal.i lied to the whole world that i was staying over at sheena's.but of cuz i didn't.i went clubbing(believe it or not it was my first time) with ney and her bf,rach and her date and i also asked conan along since anne wasn't gng and there were like extra tickets and stuff.

the queue was soooo long!and ppl kept cutting which made the bouncer really pissed.i think that's what bouncers are for.to get pissed so ppl will get scared of them cuz they really look and sound scary.esp since their in black and stuffs.haha.so we finally got in and i was soooo super excited luh!!but it was super crowded as well so i was afraid that i would kena split up from the rest.esp when we made our way to the dance floor.then as if he didn't want me to get lost also,he stretched out his hand.the moment i took it i just got lost.not in the crowd but in the clouds=)) so i started to "warm up" and stuff which was quite difficult as well cuz it was really packed,then he almost got into a fight.lols.i totally freaked out okayy i didn't know what to do.i wonder what would have happened if someone didn't stop it.but luckily someone did or we'll probably get bounced out and i wouldn't have enjoyed the rest of my morning.he held me.it felt so good.of course at first it was awkward luh but wow.okayy i can't describe how i felt right now.i was just so good luh kayy.haha.

let's just day we danced this way almost the whole time(other then the times where rach bought a jug of some red bull cough syrup shit for us to drink)until he was shimmering with my body glitter oso =D lols.can see cuz got the purple light which makes white things purple.it's like the transfer of pollen grains from flower to flower.just that of cuz there wasn't a medium.it was just us =D well of cuz it being my first time i was quite lousy and stuff luh so i felt reali bad lor but okayy luh i think i did okayy for a first timer.here's some stupid things bout what happened.

1.ney's bf got drunk.he was dancing funny wobbly dances which was quite amusing to the eye luh actuali so kudos!

2.2 guys(i tink rach's friend or some random ppl that danced with her) kissed each other on the lips!that's not all.to beat that.rach and ney said"watch this" and then proceeded to kissing each other.eew.conan and i were grossed out.and no.not all tk ppl are like that.trust me.i'm an example.haha.

3.an old couple (probably 40s.the man was balding.) were dancing and making out behind us.we definately found that funny but it was seriously damn gross.haha.

4.ney was so thirsty so drank beer.but it wasn't hers.didn't know who's it was actually but it was quite alot of beer in that mug so it wud be quite a waste if ney didn't drink it.however what i found amusing was conan as he declined all the drinks rach bought but in the end drinking from that cup of unknown beer too.the freak.lols.

after the night was over..we went to some 24 hrs outdoor macs where ney's bf ate lyk ALOT but was quite sober by that time already cuz he vommited prior to that.haha.however he wasn't very sober cuz he thought conan was my bf.haha.or maybe he was.it just really seemed like were togethr.hmm...ANW..i was trying to guess who he liked(heard that he did from somewhere) but i couldn't sorta guess it cuz everyone i said he said NO.gosh.

i broke the mystery ytd tho.and i couldn't be happier with the answer.

-i get a rush when i'm with you-

Posted by char at 1:20 PM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

it's not always rainbows and butterflies.

today is a totally bad day.at the beginning of this entry i wud lyk to state that i feel lyk barfing so that if any point i get cranky,it might actually trigger fluids inside of mi and i might actuali barf all over the screen so i'm sorree if you wun be able to see some of the words clearly.

now i begin.

to give you an idea of how much i didn't enjoy choir today,i'm putting it in the first line of my day.I DIDN'T ENJOY CHOIR TODAY.i know things can't go my way but why must
1)all my friends be separated from me.
2)which forces me to actually make friends with ppl i don't lyk cuz they have super qian bian faces.(which i will touch on more later)
3)they be so serious about whether ppl actually come for practice.hello.some ppl are not exactly committing here.their just trying out choir okayy they have open options.strict is one thing but don't act as if they are already in the choir.this is first 3 mths we're talking about.i know you guys got gold but so wad?don't make it a big deal.your just pissing ppl off and very soon ppl will start quitting and i'm gonna find that haha hilarious okayy.

so to touch on my second point.WHY DO I HATE PPL WITH QIANBIAN FACES SO MUCH?i know it's not lyk my face not qb.but i can't help it their face just damn qb.but i realise that by dng this i'm not exactly helping myself because hate is something you do NOT wanna accumalate.well at least it doesn't make my life better.i wish i cud just not think that ppl's face veh qb man.

so yes.and another point is why i can't accomodate the whole world.i try but i can't really.and i know there isn't really such a thing.but when ppl get unhappy it just makes me (wanna barf) unhappy oso.like.omg.i dunno luh.but ppl are nv happy with what i do.sometimes i sacrifice alot just to do little things which aren't really appreciated and i have suddenly no idea what i'm talking about right now.

yes i have a very confused mind.you know what?ppl dun like mi.FINE.their pasar okayy i'm DONE being nice to everyone cuz in the end i'm the one that's miserable.and when i'm miserable i want to barf.i tink this is some kinda sickness i must find out soon.

like i wanna be a loser man.like maybe a loner.no friends.no boyfriend.nothing.no one to pls.they don't exactly have a life but at least they do what they like.but no.i can't be a loser.because that's me.charmaine chia.forever wanting to be in the forehead.

go piss yur head off charmaine.and go barf your fucking intestines out.you SUCK.

-living in a shadow.of someone else's dream.>